I just got back from my best friend's wedding, and what memories I have. As Angela Gomes, my best friend, advisor, and soul mate :P would say - most prevalent are the memories that revolve around food. At a time when I am on this semi-bland diet and I have just returned from Kolkata - the only thing I thought was worth writing about was food, because I curse the day I decided to lose weight... :) I want to give this post the title - 'The Bong Food Fetish'. The idea was actually born a few months back in Bombay and it evolved from Madhu, a colleague of mine and a good friend and a Bengali, and all the time we would discuss either food or men ( the latter was actually less frequent)

Then I had decided to blog about this bong food fetish.

It is a rare Bengali whose mouth doesn't water at the thought of Malai Chingri, Doi Maach, Eelish mach, Chitol maacher muitha, Kasa Maangsho, Mutton Chaap, Biriyani.......oh my gawd .. I cant even complete this sentence without drooling. I mean twisting the adage 'eat to live' and saying that we (most bongs) 'live to eat' would be like a boring cliche, an understatement, an undeserved and un-needed testimony to the sheer passion we feel about eating good food.

Every day Dad and Mom would sit down at the breakfast table and decide the menu for the day taking inputs from me and dadabhai, and this was a scene from not just my home, but literally every Bengali household, whether you lived in Hyderabad, Kolkata, Sydney, Toronto, or Washington DC. the planning of the day's menu forms an integral part of the plan for the day. and the discussions are not restricted to just ' make this curry and this rice ' its more like ohh ok make this kind of curry and to compliment that u can make this kind of rice and then a chutney to satiate the taste buds, and of course one vegetable curry preferably with some shrimp in it though.... It has to be an elaborate and well planned spread, every day, every meal!

I mean... Hello.. which other culture has so ingeniously woven into each recipe the possibility of adding some non-veg item, a theoretical recipe where you can add fish to dal, bottlegourd, brinjal, potol, etc would probably make others balk while we Bengalis would drool at even the thought of the aromas that nostalgia would bring.

I also sincerely hope that all these legendary recipes that were best in our grandmummy's kitchen and passed down to our mummy's kitchens do not die out with the generations to come, because nobody seems to show too much of a keen interest in the elaborate steps and intricate details that combine to give birth to the most perfect tastes and aromas. There still are a few that keep the fires burning ( not a reference to clay ovens, cause nobody uses those anymore :P) Tina Di, Payel, my boudi :) ... they seem to actually enjoy cooking and don't tread too much on the quick fix path of microwave dinners.

I have to stop writing now and get back to my oats - the pork chops will have to wait - till I stop resembling the species that they are made of.... :P Bye... abrupt end... but very hungry all this thinking about food has made me!

Dedicated to all the bongs all over the world... and other foodies!!

Paperbacks rule- the lost art of reading

Reading books - this hobby brings to mind the following charming picture for me - cuddling up under a blanket made warm and reading and re-reading worn out books that have been your all-time favorites. I have always loved to read, since I was young. But as I grew older, distractions in the form of teenage fads, crushes, movies, friends, outings, studying, getting a job, doing well at the job, and a numerous other things somehow robbed me of this passion. I have fortunately woken up to the realization that a very important part of my being that I loved was slowly disappearing, and I decided to start reading again. I mean I would always read occasionally, but not with the same passion and fervour that accompanied my reading hours in childhood. I was always considered to be a precocious child, but then now when i am grown up and can decide for myself then the adjective turns to dense, as in referring to the 'older' version of me. It has to be, because I don't read, I mean I don't even have the same zeal for reading. Earlier a book started would not be put down till the story was finished. Now I can tarry on a single novel for days..!

The first thing I decided to do was make up a short list of some classics which were long overdue, and then buy them a few at a time over a period of months. Of course, aided by the ever helpful Google.com I was quickly able to narrow down the books I wanted and also the places I could pick them from. Thanks to the amazing world of online shopping, I would not even have to venture out of the cosy air-conditioned confines of my cubicle, and I could have them delivered to my doorstep, literally. So I began my book-shopping and the first three purchases made at Infibeam.com - Wuthering Heights, Lady Chatterlee's Lover, and Far from the Madding Crowd lessened my account balance (again ever helpful net banking facility) and I decided that I would hunt for other books and bookmark them (so to speak) for purchase the next month.

During this hunt for good and affordable copies of Gone With the Wind, Guns of Navarone, and Dr. Zhivago - I stumbled upon links that offered me the privilege of simple clicking on the link and downloading the e-book for free. I was super-thrilled at first and quickly started hunting for more links of all the other books I wanted. It became this maddening mission of mine to collect all the world's greatest classics for free in the friendly htm or pdf versions. I was aided plenty - it was hardly difficult. Every search string comprising the words 'free ebook download of ...'the title'... returned innumerable hits. At first I downloaded, then I began carefully compiling folders on my laptop, author-wise, category-wise, and so on. Then I went ahead and emailed and called other friends who had similar tastes and they in turn shared with me some more such amazing sites. where i could go treasure hunting.

As I sat gloating over my suddenly acquired vast collection, I experienced this sinking sensation out of nowhere. I didn't realise what it was I was feeling at the pit of my stomach. As I dug deeper, an image flashed to my mind, and here i would like to go back to the start of this particular post. Reading, once meant more to me than than just gobbling up words and sentences and understanding their meaning and building vocabulary and slotting stories. It once meant the charm of sitting back (or lying back) as it would often be in my case... and allowing myself to be transported into that magical world from the book i was reading. It meant relaxing and sipping on some beverage while feasting on the different situations and experiencing all the emotions that the characters of the book were going through. But now in this world where everything is so magically available at the click of a wand - my pc's mouse, I wonder if I should just prohibit myself from downloading these soulless versions of the books.

Maybe I should not deprive myself of the smell of the pages as they grew older, the warm textures of an oft read book, the yellowing of the covers, maybe instead of investing on pointless trips to crazy flea markets to buy unnecessary accessories I should concentrate on using the contents of my bank account to invest in precious assets- books, treasures I can hand down to my kids. well of course I could also hand down the more easy to maintain ebooks but there is a certain joy is preserving a well written book and finding it on the shelf of your home library. It brings back memories right from the moment you glimpse the cover page. Sigh! I feel better now, Dr Zhivago, I have made up my mind and you'll have to wait till next month to regale me of your wartime stories and love story. Paperbacks rule!

'Real friendship does not mean that you always have to be together'

I'll have to start this one with a dedication to - Eddy, Kashyap, the Kirans (both of u r more or less the same size now!), KP, Manju, Nireesh, Sandhya, Sarath, Shiva, Sirisha and lastly the superstar Varun (:P)- cos this one is chiefly for these guys!

I just had an awesome trip to Hyderabad. Fun and frolic .... relentless outings... shopping... eating.... and inspiration for the next blog. I noticed how after each night out, each coffee day trip (no matter how mundane) each drinking binge, each dinner, someone or the other would say these are the best days of our lives. And we have been saying that for the last four years or so. It all boils down to this - being together makes any day a great day for all of us....always...period. The best days of our lives are never going to get over, they will just keep coming and coming, with forced breaks in between, thanks to jobs, out-of-towners and added responsibilities.

Oh and here, I have to mention the quote inspired by my baby brother who drank coffee with special live spider topping (dead by the end of the drink though) - 'with great irresponsibility comes great fun!', and that's exactly how it all started..

Those were the days before any of us were married or heartbroken or serious about pretty much anything. Plans would never have to be made - they'd happen as naturally as if it were second nature only to breathing. We had to meet, probably at someone's place - mine, sandy's, kiran's, shiva's, varun's... and then the rest of the day/night would be chalked out from then on. Agreed, the plans would not always be very concrete or very well thought out - but -

• inevitable inebriation would always follow
• unending pointless debates would always provide food for thought and fodder for conversation, you could never say that we were dull people
• best friends would have silly arguments, leading to further laughter and lots of giggling
• shows of drunkenness would be publicly condemned and secretly encouraged
• there'd be yummy food (aah, my fave part - and I can see at least 2 pairs of eyebrows being raised at this point)
• the introspection would of course begin with a never-seen-before ring of sincerity to it
• and there'd be loads of LOLing

The best part is even now, nothing has changed, and it doesn't seem like it ever will! I am not going to say that we are ALL going to be together forever, that's just way too corny, but I do know that it'll never be in the least bit difficult for us to pick up from right where we had left it off. If a Deba comes to Hyd after '2 months', or a Sarath totally disappears and emerges after a year, or a Sandeep gets married and turns up all of a sudden.... the rest of the true-blue Hyderabadi friends will always act like they'd never left in the first place. That is what I love about you guys. And one of the chief reasons I hate Mumbai is because you guys aren't there. :)

Well, the trip is over, and I am looking forward to another one soon... I dont wanna thing that the trip has ended, this is just a break. I'll be back in Hyderabad with my family, my friends, and all my favorite people and places. Thank you guys..all my friends, life is so much better with you in it, simply put!

P G Wodehouse - must read!

I haven’t let myself read too much lately – I blame that not on being a good-for-nothing-lazy-bum, but on my … errmm ahem…busy schedule! :) Train journeys though, they give you that much needed unplanned and unslotted time to catch up on things like reading & Psmith is one of those people that makes my railway travels way more tolerable than they should be!

Psmith is one of the most popular characters created by my favourite P G Wodehouse. He is probably more of an autobiographical character, but he along with others like Mike, and Jeeves, can make one laugh so hard at their ‘serious’ly funny reflections on life and people, that it’d put all those ROTFL, LOL and LMAO expressions to shame!

P G Wodehouse uses words that could be understood by even a 5th grader, and yet his words are strung together almost musically and the meaning is always so hilarious – it’s like you are reading a brilliantly composed musical comedy. I’ve to say at this point, without meaning to sound immodest, that I have been or at least used to be quite an extensive reader, and his books are the only ones I’ve read and found myself laughing out aloud at, needless to say that has led to a few embarrassing moments for me.

Poking fun at the upper classes that reflected his own background, he spun tales so ridiculous that they’d put even David Dhawan to shame, and yet it all came together so beautifully that you cant help but be completely engrossed in the world that his characters live in.

Anyone who has led a life without ever having read one of his books would be advised to drop everything else and rush like a tornado to the nearest book store and obtain a copy, or since u are reading this, and are already on the ever useful world wide net - you should check out this link for his e-books, its an experience you could thank me for later ;) http://www.ebooksread.com/authors-eng/p-g-wodehouse.shtml

For the first-timers at P G stuff I’d suggest the Psmith series so that you can get used to his subtle yet very effective humor that is not the in-your face kinds.

Tresses hate stresses! :)

I just posted this on wiki-how-pedia, and I don't know if they'll approve, but still am recording it here, because I spent a bloody long time thinking of what to write!
Have you just woken up from a nightmare about going bald to find your precious strands of hair strewn all over the pillow? Well, dreadful situation isn't it, and a recurring one, at least in my case. But now I have decided enough is enough, I will stop my hair from falling out!
How - well the most important thing is - stop having nightmares about hair fall, in fact stop having night mares of any kind. Tresses hate stresses. :) And you can't get truer than that. Hair loss is something you cannot conquer overnight, not even over a fortnight. Its a gradual process that requires faith and calm confidence in your methods. I have done a little bit of 'trustworthy' Google-Research and found that this seems to be a widely discussed and lamented topic! everybody is worried about losing hair - male, female, otherwise, child, teenager, adult! Phew! Since I was on this fact collecting spree, here are a few things that had actually helped me -

Step 1 - Like I said before, and you can never hear enough of this, do not stress about losing hair, because its anyway a scientifically proven fact that you are a normal homo-sapien if you're losing about 80-100 strands in a day.. so congrats. And for those who are losing a bit more, well... read on.

Step 2 - Treat chemical treatments as a disease - avoid them like the plague! And by chemical I mean all those fancy expensive brands that have successfully conned us all with their marketing gimmicks into believing that their products are the closest we have to God's gift to our mane! Wrong, in fact, God's gift to our mane comes in tiny affordable packages. I wont claim to know more than Google does, so my advice would be to google some natural hair care ingredients- a few that have been tried and tested by me personally are - hot oil treatment with pure olive oil (works wonders really) about twice a week, leave it on overnight, and shampoo the next day with a herbal shampoo (believe me the Indian ones are the better lot) Make an attempt at using amla or shikakai to wash your hair.

Step 3 - Regularly cleaning and brushing the hair is very important. There is a reason all the childhood fairy tales included scenes where the beautiful princess would brush her long golden tresses, I believe it was incorporated by some wise story-teller to imprint on young minds the importance of combing! Detangle your hair whenever possible, this will reduce your hair fall instantaneously. When we brush our hair, our scalp is encouraged to secrete more natural oil that imparts a glossy look and makes the hair healthier.

Step 4 - Eat healthy and excrete regularly. :) Funny as it may sound, do excrete regularly because constipation is apparently bad for the tresses, but I'll just take my online research's word for that. :) Eating healthy - the keywords are - green, leafy, dairy, wheat, soy, Vit-A

That is all for now, you're welcome to add to this if you have suggestions. Please read the title of this again and remember
don't let falling hair
give you a scare
tresses hate stress
and adore gentle care
For all those gagging at my little limerick.....find better things to do!

This is really encouraging. A lot of people have bothered to read, and that really makes me feel good about myself and my blog. What little it takes to put a smile on my face, eh? So what am i supposed to blog on - (is that the right preposition, correct me if not - i.e. if a knowledgeable blogger's reading this) - current affairs, daily events, life in general, arty stuff? I don't know.. maybe I'll just keep pouring out the lines as they come. So that also reminds me - I am planning to write a book soon. Its going to be called Memoirs of Mumbai. For those that know me well and are wondering ' Why Mumbai?!', the reason is that I have been most 'vella' in Mumbai and have had a lot of time to ponder on the things that have been on my to-do list since when I was a kid. Two of the items are gaining priority - having 7 pet dogs and publishing a book.

I have had crazy experiences in Mumbai - from the rains to the traffic to the police to the well...ahem... 'Marathi Manoos' and of course the fascinating crowds everywhere. If I really could have a penny for every time some random stranger along the way did something that made me laugh, I'd be able to quit my job, leave this city, and buy a penthouse. More on that later..

I was in Hyderabad the whole of last week...Dad was ill, but he is better now. I miss the city so much and nobody can discourage me from calling it my favoritest place in the world. Its the place where I have some amazing memories with my family..where I have met and made friends with some of the most amazing people in the world. I think the reason that people here are so amazing is that they lack both the snobbery of the metro city denizens.. and the dogma that haunts tongue waggling people from smaller towns (its just my personal observation and its not meant to be racist, its just a fact of life) .. And if you take the best features in people and places all over India - thats when you get a Hyderabadi!

My First Blog!!

Yep, its my first blog! Welcome Deba to the wonderful world of blogging. Every other person has been doing it and even as I type this a hundred more would have joined in. So what made me jump onto the bandwagon - nope it wasn't a mere whim or fancy, neither was I deeply moved by some incident into writing about it - my mom thinks its very cool and actually prodded me into starting a blog of my own. I don't really think she gets the idea but well... she loves encouraging me and thinks of me as some multi-talented superstar waiting to be sprung upon the world.. so here I am obeying my mother like the dutiful daughter I should have always been. Love you mom...love you and your crazy ways both.
My first blog comes at a time when I am a 26 year old bank employee living away from home in the city where it all is and where it all happens - Mumbai! It should send a shiver down one's spine really, its not meant to sound grand. I am so homesick and sick of all the charms that Mumbai has to offer. The 'city of dreams' that they show in the movies - where its all glamour and late nights and bright lights - is just a farce for a city that harbours an entire generation of homesick youth, an entire generation that's working their posteriors off and yet wondering why they cant just earn less and spend more back in their own hometowns!
I wanna go home to my mum and dad! Well I really shouldn't be writing any more today cause all that's coming out is me wallowing in an ocean of self-pity, and sympathy being something I detest, I shall sign off and come back in cheery mode - but seeing the words self-pity reminds me - I will leave you with a poem by D.H.Lawrence that I caught in the movie GI.Jane and loved it --
Self Pity
I never saw a wild thing
sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
without ever having felt sorry for itself.